If you’re all talk, people will run circles around you.
When I speak with people on the topic of raising their standards and setting their boundaries, I often run into the same roadblock: They’re not willing to enforce their boundaries. It’s one thing to say what you want, and what you are or are not willing to put up with, but if you don’t actually follow through, then you’re only playing yourself. A boundary that isn’t enforced is like a treasure chest with no lock; you open yourself up to exploitation because you have absolutely no security.
Having standards and enforcing boundaries doesn’t mean that you will only attract great people into your life. But it does mean that, at the first or second sign of disrespect, you will leave the situation, and those people won’t remain in your life. Setting your standards and enforcing your boundaries means never loving someone (or the idea of them) more than you do yourself, and your peace. There are people who waste months, years, even decades of their life complaining about situations, and convincing themselves that this is better than nothing at all. But firm boundaries engender a deeper and richer self-love, and once that foundation is in place, you will treasure your peace far too much to allow it to be repeatedly violated.
