Nobody ever really just “ends up” anywhere. Either you were taken, or you took yourself for a ride. Whatever the case, you know exactly how you got there.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard someone say “How did I end up here?,” I’d be a very rich woman. Honestly, the amount of times in the past that I’ve had this very thought still embarrasses me. Oftentimes, we find ourselves just going with the flow in situations, environments, and relationships instead of speaking up and letting our wants and needs be known. We think that being low maintenance, agreeable, or whatever euphemism folks are using for “doormat” these days is the best option. We think that if we are quiet, make ourselves small, and don’t ruffle any feathers or make any waves, things will eventually change in our favour. It’s so easy to become so passive in our own lives that we delude ourselves into thinking that we don’t have to lift a finger even for the sake of our own happiness and fulfillment.
But what happens when “going with the flow” means going 3, 5, 7, or even 10+ years in a stagnant relationship? Or a soul-crushing job? Or with all of your wishes becoming pipe dreams because you never had real goals and never made any concrete plans? The task might seem daunting at first, but it’s absolutely worth it to take a few minutes out of each day to reflect on what is it exactly that you want out of all areas of your life, and then make a plan to go and get it. If you’ve ever thought “How did I end up here?,” then it’s time to grab a map and head in a new direction.
