“Love is the only power which is able to turn enemies into friends.” -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
“No one will ever want me.” “It’s too late to do that now.” “This is too hard.” “I’ll never be good enough.” For many people, this is what their inner dialogue looks like. I was no exception to this, and partook in negative self-talk on a loop every day for so many years of my life. I looked at my life and my then current situation, and instead of looking for an opportunity, an escape, I cemented my reality into place my affirming my misery over and over again. I would replay things that had happened to me, events that hadn’t even happened yet but that I was so sure would happen eventually. I even became convinced that, when things were going well, it was only a matter of time before they went back to “normal” (re: terrible) again. I was my own worst enemy, and it was ruining my life.
So many people think that self-love can only be attained once other people start to love, admire, and respect you. Then and only then do you have permission to start loving yourself. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, self-loathing and self-deprecation are some of the fastest ways to ensure that other people feel the same way about you that you do. The only sort of person that this mindset will attract is someone who also hates themselves and/or means to use and abuse you. People who love themselves do not naturally gravitate towards those who don’t. This is why, in friendships, you’ll often find a common thread between the individuals. They “get” one another. And in romantic partnerships, everyone is playing a designated role. It can either be the role of mutual love and respect, or the roles of chaos, the roles of abuser and victim, the roles of target and exploiter.
Anyone who wants a better quality of life needs to confront the enemy within. It’s time for a talk with your inner voice and the root(s) of your poor opinion of yourself. Actively work to transition from being your own worst enemy to becoming your best friend. Your life depends on it.
