Love means always having to say, and show, when you’re sorry. Love means learning and growing.
The popular film Love Story (1970) popularized the saying “Love means never having to say you’re sorry,” meaning that if you truly love someone, you shouldn’t be doing anything that you’ll have to apologize for. While this is true when it comes to intentionally causing someone else pain, we can and inevitably will do things unintentionally which could hurt our friends or partners. This is simply part of the human experience. It’s just not possible to anticipate another person’s every need, want, boundary, or trigger, nor should anticipation be a requirement.
In a healthy dynamic, the goals should always be communication and respect. Better communication, and deepening respect, with the other person and well as with ourselves, as the relationship progresses. Only when this foundation is set can we then take responsibility for telling other people our needs, wants, boundaries, and triggers. Once they know, they can then make the choice to respect your standards, or we can make the choice to find what we’re looking for elsewhere. But if two people can come together, without walking on eggshells or making any subject too taboo to discuss, and learn and grow together, it is in that space that love can begin to bloom.
